My Perplexities. His Light

My Perplexities.  His Light.

“In Your light, we see light.” Psalms 36:9

I couldn’t sleep last night.  I began thinking about my friend’s seemingly fairytale life as her second daughter’s wedding approaches.  Such joy, anticipation, beauty and light exudes from all of them. As is my way, my thoughts turned to my own wedding and all my conflicting emotions surrounding it.  I had a few disappointments with my well laid plans and they have haunted me these 23 years. So, of course, I began dwelling on them, whirling up my dismay in the darkness… until my day’s devotional verse popped in to interrupt my cycle.   I began to mull over Psalms 36:9.

Earlier in the day, I learned that the verse could also be read:  “By Thy light, we see light.” It carries with it the idea of discovering as we seek His light and, then having discovered as we see light; in my mind, the questions brought to God on the front end are satisfied on the back end.   A commentary expanded on it by saying: “As Thou are the Source of light, and all light proceeds from Thee, so we shall be enabled to see light or to see what is true, only as we see it in Thee. (Only) by looking to Thee shall we see light on all those great questions which perplex us… It is not by looking at ourselves… that we can hope to have the questions which perplex us solved.” -A. Barnes

As I considered all these things laying on my back in the darkness, unbidden, my wedding popped back up. God proceeded to take me step by step through that day. His light redeeming my memory of it as my disappointments receded in the brightness. I may not have the keepsakes I thought I longed for from it, but I had an especially fine day filled with fairytale loveliness that I can be proud and blessed by. A 23 year old disappointment that it didn’t occur to me to give to God, graciously soothed away by the light of His presence.

“How great is the love, the Father has lavished on us…!”  I John 3:1. I so love it when God unexpectedly pops in and uses His Word to inform my real life ‘perplexities’. (Check that one off the list!) Truly, even in my dark bedroom, in His light, we see light!    

So Cool!

♥ Anne

January, 2018