The Mantle of Widowhood at 58

When presented with a new accessory, it is important to follow a few simple rules before claiming it as your own…

It may be helpful to try it on; to drape it across your shoulders and look in the mirror; side to side, back to the front, see how it fits. Ask some questions, is it too big, too small, too light, too heavy, too young, too old for you? Does it drown out your other features? Does it accentuate the positives while diminishing your negatives? Is it easy to wear or is it too bulky and cumbersome? And, perhaps, most importantly, how does wearing it make you feel? Beautiful, Old, vibrant, Happy, exotic, forlorn? If it doesn’t feel right, put it back.

During a recent acquisition, I applied these rules. I tried on my new accessory and carefully considered all of that. In the end, however, it did not feel right. It felt so tangled, heavy, awkward, suffocating even; much too old for me so I decided to give it back.

I found, however, that there were no tag backs, no returns, no refunds. In fact, I even realized that it had been becoming a part of me before I even noticed. This new accessory was mine whether I wanted it or not. 

So today, I will wear it for all the world to see even if the truth feels like I am a small child wearing grown-up clothes that trip and boggle me.

I will wear it because I know that sharing it is the only way to make the beauty of all that caused it, to rise above the tangle.

I will wear it because it will make me brave as I walk alongside those who love me.

Anne

Living you forever and ever, Amen.

February 9, 2021