Dormancy

My spirit has gone dormant. I sent two sons on a cross country trip to St Louis where one will stay for the summer. I was all alone in my house. I managed to get a scrapbook done but I did a little else.
It seems I have little to say, less to feel and naps to take.
In the stages of grief, I think I started with shock and numbness, did a bit of acceptance moving into anger and now am blank. It is a curious process with all it’s layers; such a stinky onion of a thing.

Still connected to life on some days with the endless projects of putting an absent life into order but then on other days simply sitting blankly. With the heat of summer coming on, I sometimes feel a bit like a dried up old rag crackling in the sun.

I go to the Superior Court today to prove for Social Security that I was married. To do that I have to prove who I was before I was married, ironic really because I have no idea who I am now that I find myself unmarried once again.

Anne
June 2, 2021