Obstacles and Stymies

There are times I fear I lose myself

I don’t know who I am

I get caught up in the struggle and the strain

With my back against a stonewall

My finger in the dam

Losing strength and going down again…

John Denver’s To the Wild Country

I long for a simpler life. I took a deep dive into obstacles and stymies today; losing strength and going down again.

One task that turned into five more impossibilities followed by another and another. It was too much. Stopped me in my tracks, ransacking my get up and go, which got up and went in a decisive finger pulling from the dam flurry.

It is strange what sets me off; that which I approached with confidence and vigor turned so quickly into disillusionment and seemingly insurmountable dread.

“I should have known” I find myself repeating as if anticipating it would make it less harsh. 

I guess my life is rather simple: The pain of loss is the gift that keeps on giving.

Anne

August, 28, 2021