On the morning of my departure for Africa, I awoke from a disturbing dream that penetrated my whole self with deep sadness. The kind of feeling that lingers and oppresses even after waking.
I tried to push the feelings aside as I gathered myself for the trek to the airport but found frustration after frustration clouding my view.
I made it to take off but as I sat in my middle seat with my head buried in my neck pillow, the tears came. I released my dream sadness silently, drenching the foam.
The dream had been about Philip. He was in conference with ‘the General’ and he had prioritized this general over me even when he knew I was in desperate need. It was this desperate sadness that lingered.
I wondered about this: “Are You the general, God?” I asked Him. “Could my dream really be telling me that I am mad at You and Philip for being in cahoots together against me?”
I stopped, my words shouting at me: Against me? Never. As I recognized the lie in this, my tears became my prayer and declaration: Neither God nor Philip are against me. I only feel alone in my own power but thank God, He doesn’t leave me there!
My God goes before me and after me and all around me and He is more than able to accomplish ALL that concerns me today whether I am asleep or awake.
Now that is a start I can renew my mind and spirit around. Bring on, Africa, Lord. I think I may be ready now.
"I am demolishing arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God! I am taking captive every thought in obedience to Christ" so that, that which I may fear in my dreams, I can demolish in my waking.
2 Corinthians 10:5 (my paraphrasing)
Thank You, Lord!
Z-Anne-zibar. August 31, 2022
Tripping with God: Stories of Faith and Inspiration 