For the Joy

I was in the ER recently with kidney stone-like pain. I was not, shall we say, impressed with my earthly care. I was impressed, however, with my heavenly care which, by the way, included a penny that fell from my pajama pocket and rolled across the ER floor…In God, we trust…

(Who has a penny in their pajama pocket? Anyway…)

In the face of the unrelenting pain, my body rocked back and forth in a futile, ever moving motion, my elbows pushed deep into my sitting thighs, my body hunched over as I gripped my head with my hands, eyes slammed shut. Trying to calm my sharp, rapid breathing, I attempted to remember to breathe deep and slow but to no avail as moments later those thoughts were lost again in the cycle of my misery.  The pain had an overarching, repetitive insistency that continued, in various positions for hours.

I was grateful for my mask that recycled my CO2 and kept my hyperventilating self in partial check  but, most importantly, for the one thought that cycled with it, echoing from my Pastor’s Sunday sermon from Heb 12:2.

“For the joy set before Him,

 He endured the cross”

Heb 12:2

I repeated it within the constancy of the pain. Now please do not misunderstand me, I’m not some superhuman Christian, although I do know Him, who can reason all this out in the face of ridiculous pain. I simply grabbed on to that which was offered and focused on it, eyes slammed shut, until I could see again. And this is what I saw.

For the joy, blessings, rightness that would come from His pain, He endured. He endured so I could endure. He could, so I can. He did so I will. I clung to these words. Holding them, claiming them as tightly as I gripped my head. 

The Word of God, like a tether anchored in my past drawn through to my future, a steady hand grip through the turbulence of my now.

The power of God’s Word pulling me through to safety. 

For the joy…for the joy…

Amen,

Ridiculous Anne. 9/20/22