Tanzania Clinic day #1

Monday, November 8:

We return to our Sunday’s church where Pastor Peter has set up large, white, pointed tents under which we will hold clinic in the open air.  The landscape is solid beige and uninviting but there are colorful chairs and tables to arrange beneath the bright white. The first day of clinic is often a bit chaotic as we set up and organize clinic in a new place.  As a result, I often step aside and seek out a place of overseeing prayer.  Today, my prayer chapel is found just beyond the bustling scene.  The land is dusty and rock strewn.  The low lying brush and bush is dry and barren.  There are thorn trees and well worn paths to the unknown, one of which I follow a short way before I turn around to watch.  I feel a bit like the prophet, Habukkuk, who stood on his ramparts to see what God would do. I begin my prayer with the words of his book chapter 1:5 when God says:

“Look and see;  wonder and be astounded.

For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe even if you were told.”

As clinic begins, I am tasked with gathering the Community Safety Initiative local volunteers to review the program with them.  There was some disappointing confusion among the volunteers about how to begin the relationships. We sent a team last summer who identified wounded community members in need but then no further contact was made. Today, we are taking the time to review and equip them for success.

Katelyn is my partner.  At home, she is pursuing a Masters in counseling with an emphasis on trauma.  This seems a perfect fit and indeed, it is as we feel connected from the start.  She and I find that we can finish each other’s sentences as we think along the same lines.  It becomes a joy to team teach our group.

We start with a group of 5:  Paulo, Sandy, Philipo, David and James.  Sandy is our interpreter and her enthusiasm shines from her every pore.  She is a delight as she is so eager to learn and share with us and the group.  

This program is designed to walk a wounded person through the process of rewriting their own story while redefining who they are in God’s eyes.  Our volunteers have agreed to, through relationship building, come alongside each person who we have identified as having a traumatic situation in need of healing.  We have created a workbook entitled Restoration to assist with the journey.  It is this workbook that we are to review with our group this week.

We call our community volunteers, Heroes.  Those who supervise Heroes are called Superheroes.  Paulo and Sandy clearly stand out and agree to assist the others and they become our Superheroes.

As we start, it is clear that these Maasai are masters at keeping their emotions off their faces. It is when we have them claim who they are in God’s eyes that their stoic faces break into joyful smiles along with mine. Each one reads a verse that describes who God says they are. “I am God’s masterpiece”, “I am fearfully and  wonderfully  made.”  It charges us all up and off we go.

I spend the afternoon seeing patients. Tiny smiles fill my space. I love this work.

TanzaniAnne

November 8, 2021

Sunday starter

Sunday, November 7, 2021

My soul proclaims the goodness of the Lord and my spirit exalts God my Savior for He has looked with mercy on my low estate. 

For the mighty God has done great things for me. And His mercy will reach from age to age.

Holy is is Name. By John Michael Talbot.

My tears are close today and yet as I sit with them I am surprised to understand they are not tears of grief but tears of gratitude. And my heart is overflowing with good things as I spill out onto my cheeks with the astounding reality that God does not leave me in my low estate. He brings me to Africa so I might live in His mercy and be His goodness and He prompts a song so I might feel Him by my side as I start my day.

For the mighty God has done great things for me. Just imagine what He will do in and through today.

Anne

Sunday in Tanzania 11/7/21

The rains are coming but they are not here yet. The ground is dusty. The grass is yellow and brittle. The washes are dry. The umbrella trees and scattered bushes are the only green amidst the parched earth but there is abundant living water in the church.

The beauty of Masai jump dancing for the joy of the Lord, children moving as one in celebration of the One Who provides, whole body jubilation with vigor. The Living Water falling fresh on all. It is a reviving circle of shared connection across cultural and language barriers. What a pulsing of life as we connect to our common power source.  How incredible. God is in our midst jumping, more pleased than we.

We are treated to the stories of God’s workings in 3 of our teammates and 2 of the church members. Pastor Timothy speaks from God’s Word and the Good Samaritan pops from the pages in living color. He uses our presence to illustrate the answer to Jesus’ question, “Who is your neighbor?”. “He who shows mercy.”

Sunday Sermon translated from Swahili.

Lk 10:25-37

Good Samaritan

Love God with ALL:

  • Heart
  • Soul
  • Strength
  • Mind

Love neighbor as yourself.

We identify neighbors in different ways.

Without love for neighbor, there’s no entering kingdom of God.

Who is our neighbor?

How do we inherit Kingdom of God?

Love our neighbor

Without boundaries

Neighbors are those you help in time of trouble.

The team has become our neighbors. We see the love of God in you by coming here.

We learn something from you because of the love of God.

You must love others with God’s power and then everyone is your neighbor.

Take this message as your message. Be the Good Samaritan to those who come to you.

When you face challenges, God’s love will protect you as you protect others who also have challenges.

Why do our friends leave all they know to come to Africa? Why do they use everything they have to help people in Africa?

Because of love.

Last time, people got well because of your care.

You bought food for the kids. Today family is happy because of you. Because of the love you have shown.

Because of the love of God in you.

We might preach well, sing well but without love we cannot see Jesus. 

You show us God’s love and we see Jesus.

Thank you.

Pastor Timothy

Tanzania me
Sunday, November 7, 2021

Saturday in Africa

Saturday, November 6, 2021

Jambo, Tanzania! 

We leave Arusha after a pleasant, slow morning at the market and Cultural Center. It is a cool breezy, sunny day with low lying clouds and blue sky. The acrid smell of exhaust that is blowing in the open van windows is soon replaced by the fresher open air of the rural roadway. There is mist on the mountain we skirt on our way out of town. Its peaks are hidden from our view.

Barren hills to the left dotted with herds of sheep and goats. There are hints of the Massai herders in their red Shukas in the distance. 

Trucks piled high with newly hewn tree trunks pass on the left and each small village  presents with it’s own heaps of wood logs and planks so reminscent of Haiti’s doomed deforestation.

It  is a dusty, dry landscape until the undulating grasslands turn greener as they slope gently up to the mountain’s edge.  

We turn off the main highway onto a dirt road. As we venture farther into the countryside the cloud slowly take over the sky. The trees are taller and more frequent and between them we see a family of giraffes, baby in tow. Their grand design silhouetted magnificently against the umbrella trees and tall grasses. 

We arrive, at last, at our week’s destination, the Mount K motel.  It is a lovely walled compound with garden, a pup and friendly staff to welcome us with Tanzanian hospitality and their favored chai tea. Just over the wall the giggles of two young boys capture my attention as the one fits nicely into a large circular bowl which the other spins and they both fall into laughter. My heart laughs with them. I have missed being with the children.

I am road weary and it isnt soon enough when I find my bed a welcomed respite from the traveling.  

Asante Sana (Swahili for Thank You) for our safe travels and cherished slumber.

Anne

Before the Beginning

Wednesday, November 2, 2021

Departure Day Tomorrow

My heart is full of sorrow today. My head aches and I feel burdened by this world of details. Some days are just more difficult than others…

The days before a trip often find me harried and on edge but this time is particularly dizzying. My struggle is all knotted up with my grief. My sorrow swirls around me like a vortex of doom with so many layers threatening to undo me. It would be easy to slip within it’s diabolical web. I am tempted but God brings me a refuge, I discover, as my weary heart begins to sing Psalms 51 like a prayer.

Psalms 51:10-12

Create in me a clean heart, O God,

    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

11 Cast me not from Thy presence, Lord

    Take not Thy Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation

    and renew a willing spirit within me.

Through my tears, I own how much I long for a reset. How I long for a willing, steadfast spirit, renewed within me. How I long for God’s redemptive power to be poured out to others through my weakness and through Him to receive it back myself.

I don’t feel hopeful or relieved but today I choose to believe anyway. I choose refuge from my swirling sorrow. I choose belief.

I believe You, Lord. I believe. 

So here I am. Send me.

Anne

Let our African Adventure begin…

It begins

Thursday, November 4, 2021

I board my first plane today @1045am and I arrive at my destination Friday @845pm…roughly 33 hours later. 

Some have said it’s too far to go and too short a time to stay. Some have wondered if the cost wouldn’t be better spent in other ways.  Some wonder why…

Those always thinking people need a fresh encounter with the power of relationship. 

My most cherished journeys are inextricably bound to those with whom I journey. Do not underestimate the power of connection in relationship. 

My plane ride, long as it is, is not wasted time. For me it is a time of preparation; of letting go of home and expectations and opening to all the possibilities ahead.

Take my fellow passenger seated just ahead of me. She is a tangle of incessant, uncomfortable talking with a hint of psychosis and a love of ‘bad words’. She was escorted onto the plane by the kindest, most compassionate man who reframed my whole experience of her. And then the Purser, apparently the Boss, came and patiently welcomed her like royalty. I had to wonder who she could possibly be until I heard her talking to Jesus and I knew. She is a child of the King, in an interesting package but a child nonetheless.

It’s then that I connected my dots. I was afraid of her at first, especially since I had just appropriated all her pillows, but the kindness of others opened me to the gift, to their power of connection. Their kindness calmed her and me.

It’s a part of why I travel. Loving others will transform the world, one connection at a time.

Anne

“Love difficult people. You are one of them”

Dancing in the Dark

I  got a skin check up from my dermatologist the other day. She lightly brushed my skin as she did her exam and I suddenly realized I had not been touched like that all year. The immediate tears in my eyes revealed my welling questions, kinda dumb but real nonetheless: Who will touch me now? Somehow that led into memories of dancing with Philip, and a follow up question: who will twirl me now?

Since Philip passed, I’ve often pictured myself dancing with him in my yard at midnight under the stars.

When we did dance, he would sometimes start slow and sweet but as soon as he felt the beat, we were off, sometimes frantically, twirling me with abandon, sometimes dropping me or throwing me into groomsmen but always locking eyes with me as I locked eyes with him, the one who chose to love me best on Earth. I did not have the stamina that he had but we both shared the unlimited, connecting joy together.

Tonight when I could not sleep, I got up to dance in the dark of my bedroom. I began with music from The Passenger that I ‘randomly’ found looking for something else on YouTube. It was as if it were sung by Philip, himself.

How many times can I tell you?

By The Passenger

You’re lovely just the way you are

Don’t let the world come and change you

Don’t let life break your heart

Don’t put on their mask, don’t wear their disguise

Don’t let them dim the light that shines in your eyes

If only you could love yourself the way that I love you

How many times can I say

You don’t have to change a thing

Don’t let the tide wash you away

Don’t let worry ever clip your wings

Discard what is fake, keep what is real

Pursue what you love, embrace how you feel

If only you could love yourself the way that I love you

And if you ever choose a road that leads nowhere

All alone and you can’t see right from wrong

And if you ever lose yourself out there

Come on home and I’ll sing you this song

So how many times can I tell you

You’re lovely just the way you are

Don’t let the world come and change you

Don’t let life break your heart.

~~

And if that weren’t lovely enough,  my phone followed up  ‘randomly” with music by Bethel Music. It was as if Jesus cut in on Philip and reminded me who wrote my song in the first place. And in so doing, He answered both of my dermatological questions spoken into fear.

We Dance

By Bethel Music

You steady me

Slow and sweet, we sway

Take the lead and I will follow

Finally ready now

To close my eyes and just believe

That You won’t lead me

Where You don’t go

When my faith gets tired

And my hope seems lost

You spin me round and round

And remind me of that song

The one You wrote for me

And we dance

And we dance

And I’ve been told

To pick up my sword

And fight for love

Little did I know

That Love had won for me

Here in Your arms

You still my heart again

And I breathe You in

Like I’ve never breathed ’till now

When my faith gets tired

And my hope seems lost

You spin me round and round

And remind me of that song

The one You wrote for me

And we dance

And we dance

And I will lock eyes

With the One who’s ransomed me

The One who gave me joy for mourning

And I will lock eyes

With the One who’s chosen me

The One who set my feet to dancing.

And I will lock eyes

With the One who’s ransomed me

The One who gave me joy for mourning

And I will lock eyes

With the One who’s chosen me

The One who set my feet to dancing.

We dance

We dance

We dance

We dance

Just You and me

It’s nice to know I’m not alone

I’ve found my home here in Your arms

It’s nice to know I’m not alone

I’ve found my home here in Your arms

It’s nice to know I’m not alone

I’ve found my home here in Your arms

It’s nice to know I’m not alone

I’ve found my home here in your arms.

~~

Dancing in the Dark to God’s handpicked playlist with His handpicked partners answering my questions as He sings over me…

Amazed and we’ll cared for,

Anne October 19, 2021. @midnight

“For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty Savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With His love, He will calm all your fears. He will sing over you with joyful songs.”

Zephaniah 3:17

Making Room

I went to Haiti in 2010 after a long season of mourning. I shared my losses with the earthquake survivors’ losses and I did, indeed, find ‘a new vision and a new purpose’. And in so doing I was also blessed with a new understanding of Jesus when He said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive”. (Acts 20:35) The brilliant truth of this is that it is also in the giving that we do receive.

It is why God calls us to give ourselves away in His service so that He might make room for the receiving of Himself within us. 

I’m going to Tanzania in November with Developing Workers Global to take care of kids and their families with an extension to visit my college roommates in Amsterdam. 

It is time to ‘get on with it’ and take the next step in the giving circle put in place by God Himself: “For God so loved the world that He gave…”.

Anne

October 15, 2021

Early Morning Rocky Point, 2021

Early morning in Rocky Point brings the imperceptibility of sand to water and water to sky. All are shades of blue lavender tinged with the rising sun and distinguished only by their textures.

The cool water laughs on my feet with the quiet giggles that accompany a new day.

The beach reinvents itself as the captured water near shore makes a channel through the sand to the Sea and the tide goes out, securing the rhythm of life.

Anne

October 4, 2021

It Cannot Always Be Night

One of my 15 year old’s songs begins with a line that turns out to be from a poem: “even if you’re not ready for the day it cannot always be night.”

How appropriate on the night before we go to Rocky Point for the first time without Philip. I’ve been dreading it a bit but it can’t always be night even though I may not be ready for the day.  I’m going to face it head on, it’s going to be okay… might even be glorious.

Anne

October 2, 2021

SPEECH TO THE YOUNG, SPEECH TO THE PROGRESS-TOWARD

By Gwendolyn Brooks

  Say to them,

  say to the down-keepers,

3 the sun-slappers,

  the self-soilers,

  the harmony-hushers,

6 “Even if you are not ready for day it cannot always be night.”

  You will be right.

  For that is the hard home-run.

9 Live not for battles won.

Live not for the-end-of-the-song.

Live in the along.

The Progress Toward

October 5, 2021

Philip, you are everywhere.

On the early morning beach at sunrise just as the sun touches the beach with soft hues of awakening. You are in Jeff’s absent coffee in 712 SW. In our afternoon bocce, frisbee, baseball, body surfing. You are the anchor of the Patton’s Phil’s BARge as we gather round listening to Barry’s choice Rush tunes and float easily in our bonds of friendship. You are in the bold, distinct laughter of Casey that echos amid the pounding surf and in the deep sea fishing trip and dance party on the 7th floor fish fry. You are on the evening breezes as day closes with its triumphant blazing color and you continue to ring true in each of us as constant as the waves upon the shore.

I smile, truly, with profound gratitude at those who honor you but my mouth belies an equally strong current of unrest. I miss you. 

My heart continues it’s steady beat and, here in this place, it resounds with it’s repetitive no, no, no. I don’t want to be here…without you.

I am angry. I am tired. I am a hater. I hate that everything is about you yet I grasp at every memory of you as well.  I hate that I am mired in my sorrow and am unable to get past it. I hate that I am not rooted in gratitude for your well lived life when I am surrounded by  friends and family in this beautiful place of memories…

So I walk the beach at sunset and I open my hateful clenched fist, wide handed. I purposefully release part of you to the waters of Rocky Point and I hope, beyond hope. I hope to somehow be released from the shackle that my sorrow has become and be empowered to fully embrace my gratitude of what is, now; To embrace my progress toward and to live in the along.

Anne

October 5, 2021