I’ve read an article today on incivility in the workplace among nurses. How a year’s worth of high alert pandemic may be translated into bullying and other uncivil behaviors. Incivility is defined as “lateral violence, horizontal violence and bullying”. “Any behavior that is intended to humiliate, demean or diminish and leads to a power relationship where the abuser seeks to control the victim.” I would add that it is intended by the abuser to take control of untenable feelings of powerlessness, aggravated sadness and a sense of whole-hearted doom. It’s effect can be devastating to the victim but I suspect there is a degree of devastation for the abuser as well. A hidden cry for help, perhaps. I was a victim recently of a charge nurse tasked with taking care of my Covid positive husband struggling to breath. My first contact with the hospital and his care team 7 days into his care, was by this charge nurse. She called to reprimand me for the behavior of a friend who had called concerned about my husband. I had to interrupt her rant to ask how he was doing. She said she wasn’t his direct nurse so she didn’t really know. She then continued to berate me for the behavior of someone else.

I myself am Covid positive and struggling on many levels at home. I was not up to the task of responding well to her. Her words shook my confidence in the staff caring for my family. It was that confidence that was carrying me through so you can imagine my struggle when I couldn’t trust he was being taken care of well. When I was a kid at night in bed, I would lie as still as I could possibly manage trying to make my breath imperceptible because I imagined that Dracula would visit me and if I had any sign of life he would take me away.

I thought about that today as my headaches and nausea bear down on me. Ever since that nurse reprimanded me, it has been as if I have been managing to lie as still as I can so that evil won’t take me. If I can shut down just enough, the life sucking Dracula will pass me by. At least, that is what my vulnerable, little girl self thought.

Perhaps prolonged illness and the stress it brings peels back layers of competency that have accumulated over the years leaving only a vulnerable little girl lying still, praying for intervention. I imagine that charge nurse is that little girl as well.

Inaction, however, is not the needed response to suffering. I would plead with us all to bring encouragement, kindness, and understanding to this world crying for help. If a charge nurse is up to bullying the sick, who else among us must be struggling as well? All those words to simply say: Kindness matters. So BE KIND.

Please.

Anne

January 17, 2021

Such an abundance of prayer and support, it is as if I entered the eye of my own storm to the stillness of peace in the center of the chaotic whirling around me. I can do ALL things through Christ Who strengthens me… especially when He does it through pennies and prayers.We are blessed in..deed. Thank you

Anne

January 20, 2021

We’ve traded chemo for covid this week. And just as I giving into the ebbing of my lowest ebb, wondering how much more I could take with my head hung low, I began finding random pennies in my house. The first was on the living room floor right in the center. I picked it up. When Philip finds a penny, he says it’s God’s way of reminding him of its inscription: IN GOD WE TRUST. I remember thinking I needed that reminder just then. As I walked in through my bedroom I found two more pennies. Another in the bathroom. Another by the washer. Who knew my carpet was full of such timely treasure? Funny how truth can come in the sometimes smallest packages right at the point of my need. Thanks, God! Can’t do this without You!

Anne

January, 2021

Never Lost
Written by Christopher Joel Brown, Steven Furtick, Tiffany Hammer:
Your hand is moving right now
You are still showing up
At the tomb of every Lazarus
Your voice is calling me out
Right now, I know You’re able
My God, come through again…

****
I’m just sitting with these words today. Willing them to wash over me and defend my heart with His truth. It feels like I might be torn from His hand, so sitting, drenching in His presence to steady my circumstantial world until I can breathe again.

He is my only hope. Now is not the time to forget, weary soul. He’s got you.

AMRB

September 1, 2020

I’m having shoulder surgery today. An excellent reason for a visit to the Trouble Tree. Come with me?

Anne

July 24, 2021

The Trouble Tree
June, 2020
It has tested my parenting limits to deliver my fear ladened, obstinate child to his doctor’s appointment today. As I wait for him, a thought, unbidden, pops into my mind: “Give thanks for your trouble tree.” I wonder at this as I think, “Seriously?” “Right now?”
“Ok.” I whine and give it a try. I open my Chromebook to write but I can’t get access. It takes multiple frustrations to even start and I come precipitously close to the edge of my perceived endurance.
My trouble tree is looming heavy with fruit. It blocks my view in seemingly every direction. I feel my threshold for inconvenience, for frustration, for rational thought ebbing away. I raise a hand to grasp for a cool, calming drink but the sharp pain of my shoulder injury fills my eyes to bursting. I long to empty my screams out into the waiting room but my mind explodes with heartbreak instead as I step outside into the heat.
I am full of anguish and turmoil and I find myself yelling: “I can’t do this, it’s too much”.
As my struggle floods down my face and my fists clench against the pain, I plead, “Too many troubles at once. I can’t do this!”
Sobbing, I cry out, “One at a time would be a challenge but more, together? Impossible!”.
I fight and yell but even in the midst of all my bluster I can still hear another, softer voice that quietly tells me, “Of course you can do this. You just don’t want to.”
The voice continues, “Have I not told you I will not allow more than you can bear?”
This voice abruptly stops my tears as I recognize the truth and it leads me to the trouble tree, at last.
The Trouble Tree
When I am weary and heavy ladened, God bids me to come and meet Him at the trouble tree. There He asks me to hand Him my bundle of troubles which He gently takes and hangs on the tree. He then takes my hand in His and He walks with me in the garden. In the cool of the day, hand in hand, He walks with me around the enormous, strong boughed, ancient, heavy ladened tree.
After a time of silent reflection, He stops and looks up into the branches. “Is there a trouble bundle that you would rather have?” He asks softly.
My spirit jumps with butterflies, “Surely,” I think, “There must be a lighter, less troublesome trouble bundle that I could pick…”
So I choose one that is small and shriveled and hard. When I try to carry it, it is far too heavy for me and I drop it to the ground.
“Those are yesterday’s troubles,” He tells me. “Adding them to today’s will be too much to bear.”
I return it to its place and next, choose a medium sized dark, one but it is too much for me as well. I look up into His eyes and we silently agree that tomorrow’s troubles are not the best choice either. I continue to try on various other bundles but they are also not easier to bear until I come full circle and pick a bag lighter than all the rest…
It is, of course, the bundle I placed there myself. I do not remember it being this size or shape. It seems packed and ungainly but somehow lighter, easier to bear.
“How can this be?” I think, “It was only just placed there?”
In answer, though I have not spoken out loud, my Lord says:
“Troubles are uniquely designed to bring light to your dark places so that, as the Psalms 36:9 says, “In My Light, you see light.” It is here at My side that healing begins.”
“Come to Me,” He says as He motions with His hand to join Him, “all ye who are weary and heavy ladened and I will give you rest.”
“Take My yoke, My bundle of troubles, upon you and learn from Me. For My Yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Back at the Doctor’s office, calmer, breathing steady and slow, I consider His words.
Troubles break through the cracks in my armour to bring light to the dark, wounded places that I often hide away from God and even from myself.
Troubles bring light to the lies I tell myself. Lies like when I pretend to be strong in my own power, are, in His light, shown to be the deceptions they are.
His strength floods in when I recognize the folly of my ways and trust in His ways; when I am reminded that He is FOR me.
I now understand why I was asked to give thanks at the Trouble Tree, especially today. giving thanks in all things because His light is coming! Coming to mend my needy places and display His power in my healing.
Will you join Him at the trouble tree too? Will you spend some time with Him and your bag of troubles. Open it up. Take your troubles out one at a time. Explore and/or explode them in all their raucous bluster, and share them with your Savior. Tell Him what you have found, how you feel. Place each of them in His hands, claim His promises and see how He leads you into healing and rest.
With each visit to the Trouble Tree you will gain His strength so that when fear next comes knocking, You will begin to believe that you can say, “No!” No to fear!
You will begin to confidently chase it away, “Fear, you are not welcome here anymore!” because in His light you will have seen light and in His light there is no room for the darkness of fear…He promises.
Visit the trouble tree as often as you need until His work in you is complete. It is a hard journey of thanksgiving, struggle and blessing but when you choose the trouble tree way you will find that He is always there waiting for you.
Pray more, Fear Less,
Anne Braudt

Resurrection Season, 2020

I Peter 1:3-9,13

3:Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!

According to God’s great mercy,

He has given us a new birth

Into a living hope through the

Resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead!

4: And, into an inheritance that is:

Imperishable, uncorrupted, unfading

Kept in heaven for you.

5: You are being protected

By GOD’S power through faith

For a salvation that is ready to be revealed.

…

Peter is talking to believers who have been dispersed from their homelands.. 

So, during this COVID season, during our own time of dispersal from our regular lives, 

I wanted to re-share the powerful words of I Peter.  

3:Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!

According to His, God’s, great mercy…

God’s mercy and grace are like a two sided coin of God’s brilliance.

 He gives me what I don’t deserve (Grace)

And He doesn’t give me what I do deserve (Mercy)

He tells me that the wages of sin is death, separation from God. 

It is true, I sin:

  I do things my own way instead of God’s way, and therefore, I deserve separation from God.

BUT according to His great mercy, He doesn’t give me what I do deserve,

He doesn’t separate me from Him!

Instead, He has given me 

new birth into a living hope!

 Before I believed, the wages of my sin was death, 

it was my only choice

 but now, after belief, I am given a new birth, a new life of choice.

How?

Through the resurrection from the dead of my living hope, Jesus Christ.

His death saved me from the punishment of my sin; 

His resurrection saves me from the power that sin has over my daily life.   

After belief,

 I can now choose to live in my new birth instead of my old death/separation!

But wait, there’s more!  Peter goes on with an AND…

AND into an inheritance that:

•  will never go away or be destroyed. It is Imperishable! 
• will never spoil or be diminished by sin. It is Incorruptible!
• will never lose its brilliance. It is Unfading!

An inheritance that will be kept in heaven for me: 

being kept watch on by God Himself!

An inheritance is the practice of passing on property, titles, and rights.  

God’s inheritance for us is as Children of God with all the rights of God Himself.  

Ephesians 1:3—

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 

Who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms”, 

not just when we join Him there but right here, NOW as He keeps watch over us.

5: I am being protected By GOD’S power through Faith. 

 God’s power within me that is being released by my faith!

Why? 

For a salvation that is ready to be revealed;

I am saved from the penalty of my sin at belief. 

 I am saved every day from the moment to moment power of sin in my life by faith

 One day I will be saved from the presence of sin altogether! 

Then, I  will know, finally,

 Salvation’s full significance when I am face to face with my Savior.

I Peter 1:6-9, 13

6: You rejoice in this,

Though now, for a short time, You have trials so that

7: The genuineness of my faith may result in:

Admiration of God’s character (Praise)

Exultation with joy at what can be known about God’s character (Glory)

As I choose to respect and believe God’s character (Honor)

Praise, Glory and Honor TO JESUS!

My living hope/present joy.

In the face of trials, I have security and freedom from fear 

That is independent of my circumstances.

8-9: I can rejoice because I am receiving the goal of my faith:

The salvation of my soul.

I am continually, presently, ongoingly now receiving the goal of my faith!  

Salvation in my daily life from the power of sin that separates me from God.

13:  Therefore! Be people of action! 

Be self controlled! 

Rather than being controlled by outside circumstances, 

Be directed from within; Be serious. Be focused:

Set your hope COMPLETELY on the Grace being brought to you 

At the revelation of Jesus!

We are not alone in this journey when we are believers.

We have been given a NEW BIRTH, 

a LIVING HOPE, AN INHERITANCE.

We are being PROTECTED. 

We can REJOICE as we RECEIVE.

We can RESPOND with our actions by setting our hope completely on JESUS

Who will  accomplish all that concerns us today.

COVID 19 an opportunity to discover the strength that God Himself lends each of us

 as we claim the promises in 1Peter!

Set your hope COMPLETELY on He Who

 made a way for you when there was no way.

Celebrate this Resurrection Day with confidence and joy.

God’s got this and you!

Hallelujah!

In the Bleak Midwinter, Run to the Father!

I am a mess this morning with a headache, sore ribs, and anger. I am angry because I overslept and my much anticipated plans are blown up. I was angry when I went to bed and now I wake up angry again.

It would be so easy to focus on my challenges and I do, for a while. My morning melancholy feeds my Anne-rchy. But then I notice an unformed song running around in my head like background music for my anger. It was in my head last night and now again.

I don’t know the song’s name or even many of its words but the choice it gives is clear.
“Come to the Father; Fall on His grace; Come to the Father, again and again”
My demanding spirit pushes it away until I am in the car waiting to take Joe to school. Still angry, I turn on the radio and there it is again only it isn’t “Come, to the Father”, it is “Run, to the Father”.

I listen this time, at last. And as is God’s way, (and promise, in I Corinthians 10:13), He gives me a way out; a way out of focusing on myself and on my anger. He gives me the repeated opportunity to refocus through the simple words of a half remembered song.

He knows I am far too likely to ‘come’ to my anger, ‘come’ to my feeling bad, as I have proven this morning. I have been allowing my challenges to define my day and my own self, all the while God has been coming to me, again and again. He has been coming to remind me to allow Him to define me instead of giving that job to my circumstances. He doesn’t leave me alone in my stink. He provides the way out and into thanksgiving.

As Zecharias, the father of John the Baptist, prophesied at his son’s birth:

“Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, For He has visited us…to shine upon those who sit in darkness and the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.”

Luke 1:68,79.

And so He continues even to this Christmas season. I who was bent on sitting in my own darkness have been guided to His way of peace. It can be as simple as a matter of focus.

What is it that has your focus this holiday?

God is calling. Will you listen?

Merry,
Anne
12/12/2019

AbIde
October, 2019

I am one year out from my motorcycle accident and I still hurt physically, relationally, financially, almost every day. Last week was a particularly brutal one with ongoing pain, fatigue, and an overwhelming, unspecified hopelessness that pushed me to the edge of a panic I haven’t felt in years.

I was brought back from the edge by the simple words of a scholarly man applying God’s Word to life. My friend, Mr. Chambers, reminded me that God uses the dark times to take me to a deeper trust in Him. He reminded me that when my relationship with God is deepened, God brings His vision for my life into reality. Mr. Chambers said: “’If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you…” (John 15:7)-that is the way to keep going,” These words were my lifeline.

I saw anew that during a struggle, a deepening, it is crucial to ABIDE. It means to stay with expectancy, to remain, to endure. It is not passive. It is active.

To Abide requires me:

To acknowledge my difficulty, to turn to Him and to endure until there is movement in my spirit again.

Requires me to 2 Corinthians 10:5:
“Demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

To endure when times are low by not assigning meaning to the darkness, by resisting the tendency to blame, to refuse to feed the distress, to interrupt the cycling negative thoughts until they are taken captive and quieted. ABIDE

Taking captive every thought by shining God’s light on each one. (“In His light, we see light” Psalms 36:9) and replacing the darkness with Philippians 4:8,
“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.”

ABIDE: Not just once but every time the darkness swirls around me. Restart, reboot, recommit to “whatever is…” until the swirling abates.

Abide also means standing firm in the truth I do know. I may feel hopeless but I am not hope less. My hope is full and Living.

Abiding in the truth of I Peter 1:3, “God…has caused me to be born again into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.”

AbIde.
Look closely and you will see that when you abide you meet the Lord at the point of your need.
Do you see?
Right in the middle of AbIde is the I of “I AM”,
the name of the one and only sovereign Lord of the Universe.
He’s there, wait til you see!

Blessings, Anne

“See to it that no one misses the grace of God.” Hebrews 12:15