Tanzania in July, 2026

Tanzania in July, 2026

Back in Tanzania and so I begin, or continue …

I left my last Tanzanian adventure in June feeling encouraged and nourished, on a mountain top of God’s provision and grace both as His agent and simultaneous recipient. When I got home I rode this wave of blessing feeling better and more confident than I have in years. I marveled at my healing and perspective change.

I was unprepared for the sudden debilitating spiral I found myself in with the unexpected loss of my dog, Bella. It was like a hole in the earth opened up and swallowed me whole. I longed to be vomited out on dry land. I was overwhelmed with self doubt, dismay and unrelenting sadness and panic. Self recriminations reigned. Who was this woman I had become… again?

I sat in silence, unmoving, bewildered for many days until God sent Leviticus and Elijah when I was ready to receive Him.

Sitting on the plane, I opened a book written by a butcher about the sacrificial system in Leviticus. He spoke in easy terms about its purification sacrifices. He spoke of how God instituted the offerings to make a way to draw near to Him especially with the burdens that we bear as a result of living in a world outside of Yahweh’s original intention.

As I connected these ancient words to my world, I realized that He is still offering me the same cleansing in Himself. When I am overwhelmed by burdens, specifically the burden of losing Bella in the way we did, He invites me to come near to Him. He asks me to bring my doubts, self recriminations, anguish and pain and He cleanses me by welcoming and accepting all of it in its rawness and power. He invites me to draw near to receive His healing at the point of my need. And in this welcoming compassionate cleansing, He releases me to rest at His feet, knowing that one day, all will be returned to His original intention.

Isolated in my window seat, He called me to a session of raw centering prayer that exposed the crudeness of my desperation and allowed it’s unhindered, bitter expression. In the safe embrace of my Father, I clamoured and when drained, I slept until Paris.

On my next flight, God drew me to Elijah in I Kings. Back home, I had been listening to Bible Project’s podcast about Elijah and here in my aisle seat I was drawn back into it. My story echoed his.

Elijah has a literal and figurative mountain top experience as he vanquishes the followers of Baal atop Mt Carmel and calls Israel back to YHW in I Kings 17-18. But in the very next chapter, it is as if a hole in his world opens and swallows him whole. He spirals desperately down into an abyss of self loathing and despair. He prays for death. And YHWH in His merciful beauty answers him with what he really needs rather than what he asks for. In fact, Elijah doesn’t see death at all but rather is taken by God on a chariot of fire.

The theologian, A. Pink says it this way:

“Where there is a man who takes his place in the dust before the Most High, it will soon be made apparent before others that a power beyond his.
own energizes him.” . A.Pink

From my own mountain top in Ketumbiene to the spiraling abyss of loss, He connects me to Elijah’s story at the point of my need in a way I have never considered. He teaches me that a life of service is a many faceted thing. Living in an ever changing world outside of His original intention is as traumatizing as it is invigorating. The key is always living it with Him. I am assured that I will never do it alone because He will always send me exactly what I need, exactly when I need it. Not only does He welcome my bluster, He cleanses and renews me through it.

It took 30 hours of air travel to crystallize God’s working message within me these past, between trips, days. Leviticus, Elijah and life’s trauma has brought me a form of clarity indispensable in my journey. His message: human life and strength come completely from Him, energized by Him alone. I may, at times, feel lost and adrift in despair but thank God! He will never leave me there. He will take me all the way past to the day when His original intention is realized in me and our world.

The road to Ketumbiene is dusty and dry. The green thorn forest of a mere 20 days ago is brittle and brown. The road once known to be hard packed dirt is sandy and slow to maneuver at times. I can smell the dust seeping in through the closed windows of the bus and feel the hot sun baking my skin. I marvel at the change of the once varied verdancy, a vibrant though distant memory. A giraffe is spotted by a keen eye camouflaged among the brown bramble. He glides quickly away and disappears into the beige.

We settle into the hotel but soon are off to New Hope. There is a roof on the lodge and the rich acacia wood door frames are being installed. The fruit trees have been cleared of their chaotic waspiness and bramble and are easily seen from the pavilion. The giant kale of the garden calls out in pleasure at its abundance.

As I begin, I think of the tree of life in Revelation. I thank You for this journey, Father, knowing that those who are willing to bring their dirt to you will be used to bring healing to the nations.

You have made me ready.

TanziAnne
July, 2026
2 Corintnuans 4

“And I am sure of this, that He Who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6, ESV) because I know that apart from Him, I can do nothing but I, indeed, can do ALL things through Christ Who strengthens me.

Saturday

In the darkness of the New Hope morning, the roosters burst forth with their insistence, willing the day to begin. I am surrounded by their songs. Close and distant in every direction, taking turns, individually, without harmony, they sing the world awake. When my own crowing prayer begins it is as if they all pause to make room for me joining only after I am established. We sing together and awaken the skies. The birdsong rallies and becomes louder as the light becomes stronger. The bugsong carries the rhythm as all the Ketumbiene world announces the sacred start to another day the Lord has made.

A pink tinge in the east glimmers above the shadow of the horizon, the sky lightens as an infant’s cry echos off the mountain. I can hear the soft tinkling of goat bells emerging from behind and the footsteps of my Maasai friend approaching. The school children down the hill gather in a song that drifts on the gentle breeze. This day has been framed, it is time to build within it.

I stand before the mountain of the Lord shrouded in clouds.

Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord?
Who may stand in His holy place?
The one who will take the outstretched hand of the Jesus who welcomes her.
She will receive blessing from the Lord, and righteousness from the God of her salvation.
Psalm 24:3-5
paraphrased

He has made me ready.