Monday

On this dark, early morning, we have arrived at New Hope even before the roosters. The bugsong is dense and insistent as if prodding them awake. I  begin my own crowing until our chorus is complete. There are  tiny points of light on the distant mountain foothills. I can smell the breakfast fires carried on the light breeze. I can hear my goat friends beginning their day so together as a neighborhood, we await the rising sun, Son, at the foot of His mountain.

Clinic Day Two: In the Middle of Somewhere

Squeaks and squabbles, chirps and chittering, clicking, clucking, whistling and whirring, lyrical, brief, repetitive, chanting, harsh, abrupt, prolonged. The mountainside is alive and actively singing forth, separating the lightness of day from the darkness of night with their praise.

Clinic is an hour’s drive skirting around the mountain’s base. The thorn forest has diminished in size and denseness. It is a slow process in a big, heavy ladened bus. We are full to the brim today as our translators ride with us. Peter’s son sits beside me and we draw pictures of God’s world. His handwriting is impeccable as he writes our names alongside God’s.

Undulating hills in a valley surrounded by the shadows of mountains, this is the road to the middle of somewhere. There is a thick dustiness to the rock strewn roadside transmuting any color into shades of beige.  In the distance, there is a flat whiteness to the plain, like the salt flats of Death Valley. As we draw near, it shows itself to be a shallow long lake dotted with plants and bounded by green. It is in stark contrast to the dryness of the brown. I find out later that it is not so much a lake as a collection of water after the rain.

Clinic is some distance beyond in a church sanctuary. It is adjacent to the Gilai Bible school that is encircled by the thorny brush of a Maasai fence. This cement block church with its uneven dirt floors has a stage at one end with a softly colored silk wall cover.

It is reminiscent of our pop up clinics in Haiti so some of us feel right at home until we realize our tables and chairs have not arrived. These essentials give form and flow to clinic and without them there is none. This necessitates a need for creativity and vigilance. It is a chaotic, tense beginning but somehow we begin and manage until our accouterments arrive a few hours later.

Today is a day of IV’s and antibiotic shots for me. I start my first on a young mom who is here for pneumonia. Kelly intercepts her just as she faints. She is weak and nauseous and reports that the clamorous noise of clinic has made her sick. I lay her down on the stage and give her a liter of fluid. A hour or so later, she is able to sit up and then stand without problem. She leaves feeling and looking better.

Yesterday I struggled to find the equipment I needed to mix and administer my shots. Today, I become a machine, pilfering my various necessities from five different places. I feel like I should sing or dance or something while I mix the medicine on the ‘stage’. What was once evasive is now known and since my hands know the way, my feet threaten to join the act.

I give my second IV to a sick five year old who weighs only 33 pounds. She is dehydrated, coughing, wheezing and miserable. She winces when I put it in the crook of her arm but does not resist me. This is good for me but an indication that she needs it. I make an IV splint out of a water bottle and line it with gauze. It keeps her arm straight so the fluids can flow. As I finish wrapping it, a clear voice from behind me says “Good Job”. I listen for the flapping of dove wings and I turn to see it is Peter’s son with his perfect English. He has been apparently watching me and so, once again, it is he and I alongside God. 

My darling little one and her Mama spend the rest of the day with me. When we begin, she is withdrawn and clinging to her Mom but by day’s end she is walking on her own down the dirt path to her nearby home, her four brothers and both parents lead the way. We will return here tomorrow and so will she.

Dr. Ndoipo is her provider and collaborates care well with Kelly. He tells me he feels deeply for her suffering, wondering what might become of her with no treatment in this place. There is emotion in his eyes and words as he shares how grateful he is that God has brought this opportunity to them and him through us.

We have kids galore and most of them are sick and malnourished. Flies land in abundance on their small faces and are accepted without thought. For me, I do not tolerate even one buzz cutting my face and instinctively swat them away.  The physical needs are as overwhelming as the flies.

Ringworm rules the day, it thinks, but I think, I will take refuge in my Lord who is working through medicine, cream, soap and us to take back the domain.

At times, I  want to sink under the waters of this distress as I see the fearsome waves of ringworm, pneumonia and malnutrition but Jesus holds out His hand to me to pull me up to walk alongside Him on the waters, as He did with Peter.

He whispers to me, “Do not fear!” I do not call you to eradicate our global problems. I call you to start an IV on the sweetness and light in front of you. I call you to bring My hope and My compassion with every smile and touch. I call you to use the tool kit I have made specifically for you.

“It is My job,” He says, “to take care of ALL the rest and I promise I will bring you with me as I accomplish ALL that concerns you today.”

“Focus on and Believe Me! Those are your marching orders, Darling.”

“Have a great day!. Love, Jesus

And so I have and will! The right focus changes everything!

TanziAnne

Sunday

We sleep in and arrive at New Hope for church in the late morning. It is a breezy, cool day. The sun is shining and the mountain rises in all its grandeur, unrestricted by cloudcover. It is much like the praise that rises freely from our pavilion gathering. We sing and dance, clap and cheer and enjoy God and His people in unhindered, unmeasured praise. Though I do not understand the words, I understand the joy and catch it singing my own words of gratitude alongside theirs. I smile thinking how pleased Jesus must be when we sing together ‘in tongues’.

So many of my students from our June Community Healthcare Workers class are here this morning. Levi is here dressed in a handsome grey suit. He is one of my older students who challenged me about FGM during class. I don’t recognize everyone but I do recognize him. When I greet him, his stoic face is overtaken by his beautiful smile. We are both so pleased to see each other. He stands in the service today to give thanks for the glasses he received from June’s clinic and to share his gratitude for his upcoming eye surgery. Gratitude is contagious and I give thanks for him as well.

Clinic Day One

We are back at Pastor Daniel’s remote church where we had Vacation Bible School in June. It is a challenging drive into the thorn forest through the sandy bush. This church was started by Missionaries who came in 1993. These are the same missionaries who introduced Jesus to Pastor Peter when he was 11 years old. It is a sweet connection.

We set up clinic inside the block church building that is decorated with tri-colored silk wall hanging. There is lovely cool breezing through the open air windows that displaces the heat of the day captured within. We have a long line of patients gathering outside under white tents put up for shade. Dr. Maria is back and we share an exam station. She claims one side and I on the other. It is marvelous to see her again and to share the day together.

First clinic days are known to be chaotic and messy so I seek refuge with my first darling of the day. She  is small at a year and a half and weighs only 15 pounds today.  She was born a month early and was referred to a cardiologist for evaluation but the family could not afford to take her. She is malnourished and dehydrated and I can hear a heart murmur, wheezing and pneumonia. I consult and we decide to try a puff of an inhaler. A few minutes later, this clears her wheezing. I will treat her for pneumonia and we will follow her for malnutrition. She is vigorously resisting my care though easily consolable so I am encouraged by her vim.

When I look up I see the line has grown. I overhear Kelly talking about how it is becoming unruly and because I took some time with my last darling, I see I need to pick up my pace. My interpreter is known to me and though his translation is good, I am having trouble understanding his accent. He is a robust man with a heart of gold and I am sorry to be difficult but I need my ears to pick up the pace as well. Sweet Mary takes his place.

Ten year old Namanyani comes to us with her father. She is quiet and withdrawn but appears to be in no acute distress.  Her father is a towering, Maasai man with a keen smile and a surrounding kindness that flows from him. He looks me in the eye and tells me that what is troubling him is his daughter’s fainting spells. With some probing, he tells me the spells come without warning or other symptoms and are followed by shaking then sleep. The shaking never lasts longer than a few minutes. After examining her, I suspect Nami has a seizure disorder and our conversation turns to education about seizure care. It is a page right out of our June first aid manual. Dad seems pleased and satisfied knowing how to proceed.

Halfway through clinic, Dr. Ndoipo arrives. He, Maria and I were my co-presenters for the June Community Healthcare Worker class. I give up my seat in clinic to make room for him and work out a make-shift station by the door. The difficulty is that he takes Mary as his interpreter.

After lunch, I am blessed to have Rafael as my companion. We begin by dispensing meds in the pharmacy to clear up the log jam there. We visit Vitamins later to do the same and then it is the end of clinic. After a few last minute injections, we are on the road back. I ride with Peter and Kelly in the land cruiser. It is sunset. The translucent peaches and pinks of the mountain sky are accentuated by the dust storm we kick up on the deeply, sandy, four-wheel drive landscape. It is a landscape because the road isn’t always where you think it should be. It is a bit of a wild ride but so reminiscent of my past heart delights.  I go to sleep smiling.

Tanzania in July, 2026

Back in Tanzania and so I begin, or continue …

I left my last Tanzanian adventure in June feeling encouraged and nourished, on a mountain top of God’s provision and grace both as His agent and simultaneous recipient. When I got home I rode this wave of blessing feeling better and more confident than I have in years. I marveled at my healing and perspective change.

I was unprepared for the sudden debilitating spiral I found myself in with the unexpected loss of my dog, Bella. It was like a hole in the earth opened up and swallowed me whole. I longed to be vomited out on dry land. I was overwhelmed with self doubt, dismay and unrelenting sadness and panic. Self recriminations reigned. Who was this woman I had become… again?

I sat in silence, unmoving, bewildered for many days until God sent Leviticus and Elijah when I was ready to receive Him.

Sitting on the plane, I opened a book written by a butcher about the sacrificial system in Leviticus. He spoke in easy terms about its purification sacrifices. He spoke of how God instituted the offerings to make a way to draw near to Him especially with the burdens that we bear as a result of living in a world outside of Yahweh’s original intention. 

As I connected these ancient words to my world, I realized that He is still offering me the same cleansing in Himself. When I am overwhelmed by burdens, specifically the burden of losing Bella in the way we did, He invites me to come near to Him. He asks me to bring my doubts, self recriminations, anguish and pain and He cleanses me by welcoming and accepting all of it in its rawness and power. He invites me to draw near to receive His healing at the point of my need. And in this welcoming compassionate cleansing, He releases me to rest at His feet, knowing that one day, all will be returned to His original intention. 

Isolated in my window seat, He called me to a session of raw centering prayer that exposed the crudeness of my desperation and allowed it’s unhindered, bitter expression. In the safe embrace of my Father, I clamoured and when drained, I slept until Paris.

On my next flight, God drew me to Elijah in I Kings. Back home, I had been listening to Bible Project’s podcast about Elijah and here in my aisle seat I was drawn back into it. My story echoed his.

Elijah has a literal and figurative mountain top experience as he vanquishes the followers of Baal atop Mt Carmel and calls Israel back to YHW in I Kings 17-18. But in the very next chapter, it is as if a hole in his world opens and swallows him whole. He spirals desperately down into an abyss of self loathing and despair. He prays for death. And YHWH in His merciful beauty answers him with what he really needs rather than what he asks for. In fact, Elijah doesn’t see death at all but rather is taken by God on a chariot of fire.  

The theologian, A. Pink says it this way:

“Where there is a man who takes his place in the dust before the Most High, it will soon be made apparent before others that a power beyond his own energizes him.” . A.Pink

From my own mountain top in Ketumbiene to the spiraling abyss of loss, He connects me to Elijah’s story at the point of my need in a way I have never considered. He teaches me that a life of service is a many faceted thing. Living in an ever changing world outside of His original intention is as traumatizing as it is invigorating. The key is always living it with Him. I am assured that I will never do it alone because He will always send me exactly what I need, exactly when I need it. Not only does He welcome my bluster, He cleanses and renews me through it.

It took 30 hours of air travel to crystallize God’s working message within me these past, between trips, days. Leviticus, Elijah and life’s trauma has brought me a form of clarity indispensable in my journey. His message: human life and strength come completely from Him, energized by Him alone. I may, at times, feel lost and adrift in despair but thank God! He will never leave me there. He will take me all the way past to the day when His original intention is realized in me and our world. 

The road to Ketumbiene is dusty and dry. The green thorn forest of a mere 20 days ago is brittle and brown. The road once known to be hard packed dirt is sandy and slow to maneuver at times. I can smell the dust seeping in through the closed windows of the bus and feel the hot sun baking my skin. I marvel at the change of the once varied verdancy, a vibrant though distant memory. A giraffe is spotted by a keen eye camouflaged among the brown bramble. He glides quickly away and disappears into the beige.

We settle into the hotel but soon are off to New Hope. There is a roof on the lodge and the rich acacia wood door frames are being installed. The fruit trees have been cleared of their chaotic waspiness and bramble and are easily seen from the pavilion. The giant kale of the garden calls out in pleasure at its abundance. 

As I begin, I think of the tree of life in Revelation. I thank You for this journey, Father, knowing that those who are willing to bring their dirt to you will be used to bring healing to the nations. 

You have made me ready.

TanziAnne

July, 2026

2 Corintnuans 4

“And I am sure of this, that He Who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6, ESV) because I know that apart from Him, I can do nothing but I, indeed, can do ALL things through Christ Who strengthens me.

Saturday

In the darkness of the New Hope morning, the roosters burst forth with their insistence, willing the day to begin. I am surrounded by their songs. Close and distant in every direction, taking turns, individually, without harmony, they sing the world awake. When my own crowing prayer begins it is as if they all pause to make room for me joining only after I am established. We sing together and awaken the skies. The birdsong rallies and beces louder as the light becomes stronger. The bugsong carries the rhythm as all the Ketumbiene world announces the sacred start to another day the Lord has made.

A pink tinge in the east glimmers above the shadow of the horizon, the sky lightens as an infant’s cry echos off the mountain. I can hear the soft tinkling of goat bells emerging from behind and the footsteps of my Maasai friend approaching. The school children down the hill gather in a song that drifts on the gentle breeze. This day has been framed, it is time to build within it.

I stand before the mountain of the Lord shrouded in clouds.

 Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord?

Who may stand in His holy place?

The one who will take the outstretched hand of the Jesus who welcomes her.

 She will receive blessing from the Lord, and righteousness from the God of her salvation.

Psalm 24:3-5

paraphrased

He has made me ready.

Tanzania in July, 2026

Back in Tanzania and so I begin, or continue …

I left my last Tanzanian adventure in June feeling encouraged and nourished, on a mountain top of God’s provision and grace both as His agent and simultaneous recipient. When I got home I rode this wave of blessing feeling better and more confident than I have in years. I marveled at my healing and perspective change.

I was unprepared for the sudden debilitating spiral I found myself in with the unexpected loss of my dog, Bella. It was like a hole in the earth opened up and swallowed me whole. I longed to be vomited out on dry land. I was overwhelmed with self doubt, dismay and unrelenting sadness and panic. Self recriminations reigned. Who was this woman I had become… again?

I sat in silence, unmoving, bewildered for many days until God sent Leviticus and Elijah when I was ready to receive Him.

Sitting on the plane, I opened a book written by a butcher about the sacrificial system in Leviticus. He spoke in easy terms about its purification sacrifices. He spoke of how God instituted the offerings to make a way to draw near to Him especially with the burdens that we bear as a result of living in a world outside of Yahweh’s original intention.

As I connected these ancient words to my world, I realized that He is still offering me the same cleansing in Himself. When I am overwhelmed by burdens, specifically the burden of losing Bella in the way we did, He invites me to come near to Him. He asks me to bring my doubts, self recriminations, anguish and pain and He cleanses me by welcoming and accepting all of it in its rawness and power. He invites me to draw near to receive His healing at the point of my need. And in this welcoming compassionate cleansing, He releases me to rest at His feet, knowing that one day, all will be returned to His original intention.

Isolated in my window seat, He called me to a session of raw centering prayer that exposed the crudeness of my desperation and allowed it’s unhindered, bitter expression. In the safe embrace of my Father, I clamoured and when drained, I slept until Paris.

On my next flight, God drew me to Elijah in I Kings. Back home, I had been listening to Bible Project’s podcast about Elijah and here in my aisle seat I was drawn back into it. My story echoed his.

Elijah has a literal and figurative mountain top experience as he vanquishes the followers of Baal atop Mt Carmel and calls Israel back to YHW in I Kings 17-18. But in the very next chapter, it is as if a hole in his world opens and swallows him whole. He spirals desperately down into an abyss of self loathing and despair. He prays for death. And YHWH in His merciful beauty answers him with what he really needs rather than what he asks for. In fact, Elijah doesn’t see death at all but rather is taken by God on a chariot of fire. 

The theologian, A. Pink says it this way:

“Where there is a man who takes his place in the dust before the Most High, it will soon be made apparent before others that a power beyond his.
own energizes him.” . A.Pink

From my own mountain top in Ketumbiene to the spiraling abyss of loss, He connects me to Elijah’s story at the point of my need in a way I have never considered. He teaches me that a life of service is a many faceted thing. Living in an ever changing world outside of His original intention is as traumatizing as it is invigorating. The key is always living it with Him. I am assured that I will never do it alone because He will always send me exactly what I need, exactly when I need it. Not only does He welcome my bluster, He cleanses and renews me through it.

It took 30 hours of air travel to crystallize God’s working message within me these past, between trips, days. Leviticus, Elijah and life’s trauma has brought me a form of clarity indispensable in my journey. His message: human life and strength come completely from Him, energized by Him alone. I may, at times, feel lost and adrift in despair but thank God! He will never leave me there. He will take me all the way past to the day when His original intention is realized in me and our world.

The road to Ketumbiene is dusty and dry. The green thorn forest of a mere 20 days ago is brittle and brown. The road once known to be hard packed dirt is sandy and slow to maneuver at times. I can smell the dust seeping in through the closed windows of the bus and feel the hot sun baking my skin. I marvel at the change of the once varied verdancy, a vibrant though distant memory. A giraffe is spotted by a keen eye camouflaged among the brown bramble. He glides quickly away and disappears into the beige.

We settle into the hotel but soon are off to New Hope. There is a roof on the lodge and the rich acacia wood door frames are being installed. The fruit trees have been cleared of their chaotic waspiness and bramble and are easily seen from the pavilion. The giant kale of the garden calls out in pleasure at its abundance.

As I begin, I think of the tree of life in Revelation. I thank You for this journey, Father, knowing that those who are willing to bring their dirt to you will be used to bring healing to the nations.

You have made me ready.

TanziAnne
July, 2026
2 Corintnuans 4

“And I am sure of this, that He Who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6, ESV) because I know that apart from Him, I can do nothing but I, indeed, can do ALL things through Christ Who strengthens me.

Saturday

In the darkness of the New Hope morning, the roosters burst forth with their insistence, willing the day to begin. I am surrounded by their songs. Close and distant in every direction, taking turns, individually, without harmony, they sing the world awake. When my own crowing prayer begins it is as if they all pause to make room for me joining only after I am established. We sing together and awaken the skies. The birdsong rallies and becomes louder as the light becomes stronger. The bugsong carries the rhythm as all the Ketumbiene world announces the sacred start to another day the Lord has made.

A pink tinge in the east glimmers above the shadow of the horizon, the sky lightens as an infant’s cry echos off the mountain. I can hear the soft tinkling of goat bells emerging from behind and the footsteps of my Maasai friend approaching. The school children down the hill gather in a song that drifts on the gentle breeze. This day has been framed, it is time to build within it.

I stand before the mountain of the Lord shrouded in clouds.

Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord?
Who may stand in His holy place?
The one who will take the outstretched hand of the Jesus who welcomes her.
She will receive blessing from the Lord, and righteousness from the God of her salvation.
Psalm 24:3-5
paraphrased

He has made me ready.

Tarangire National Park

Tarangire National Park is 2600 sq km of protected but not fenced land. It prides itself on being an Elephant paradise. The tembo=elephants are the first to return to the park for the dry season. They are able to dig for water thus creating pools for others when the river is low. The zebras follow them. The park is full of wonders today.

It is overcast, cool and just perfect as the savannah dances in the breezing. The grasses are tall and unruly. There are wildflowers on parade. The paper thin, white poppies with their deep red center; vibrant pinpoints of violet; rich blue morning glories; yellow sodium apples and creamy lemon delicates. The black and white, gray-backed butcher birds fly wildly among them, often with a grasshopper lunch in their mouths.

We are told there are lions hidden in the tall green and yellow grasses just beneath the flowering. I sing our family’s Kitty song and suddenly, ‘fooga’=close, a male, beautifully maned, raises his magnificent face to the wind as he rolls over disappearing without a glimmer of a trace. It is a daunting thought that a walk in the field could be so startling. A mama lion, then, surprises us by rising and yawning a great big yawn. She poses in elegant grandeur before moving on to rest again.

“Has anybody seen my kitty? Has anyone seen my cat? He’s got a scratch on the back of his head that shows that he’s been fighting…”

We turn a corner to miles of zebras: swimming, running, talking. They dazzle, true to their group name: a dazzle of zebras. They surround the car, 360°, close enough to count their stripes. Their twitching ears with black tips and white lobes resemble butcher birds. Their tails look like intricate French braids tossing to and fro. The brown stripes of fuzzy-buckets babies, leaping in frolic as they hesitate to join their mamas through the sticky mud, into the cool waters of the gathering hole. It is truly dazzling!

Penguin Lament Sandra Boynton
(names changed to protect the innocent)
Now I am a zebra
No one else like me
Except every other zebra
That you will ever see
And I′m a little too cute
Oh, yes, I know

Miles of zebras
As cute as can be…

A solo elephant joins them at the water’s edge.

This land is filled with wonders. Here before us shines the truth of Romans 1:

19 For what can be known about God
is plain to them, because God has shown it to them.  20 For His invisible attributes, namely,
His eternal power and divine nature,
have been clearly perceived,
ever since the creation of the world,
in the things that have been made. 
(Romans 1:19-20, ESV)

I sit amazed. The power of His general revelation displayed here points us to the special revelation that He provides for those who recognize the first. Opening our hearts and minds to His creation allows Him to bring His power and divine nature into our lives in tangible blessings. I think of James 1. When we are doers and not just hearers of His Word His invisible attributes become visible to and through us. What an incredible and truly wondrous plan! 
“My soul magnifies the Lord,  
47 and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, 
(Luke 1:46-47, ESV)

It is a true Hallelujah!

June 19, 2026

Ngorongoro, named for the sound of a Massai cow bell, is shrouded in imagination today. I sit bundled in my Airplane mode sweatshirt, hood pulled up and neck pillow acting as ear muffs holding me altogether. It is a blustery day in the crater.

Misting cloud-cover gently falls into the depth of the caldera as giraffes cross in front of us. Mist-ical and mysterious. There is a clarity to the early morning crispness both in temperature and sight as we descend beneath the ceiling.

A pile of lion babies playing on top of the moms in the far sandy grass until, with further investigation, they are having bfast. The moms on perimeter with babies feasting within and on top. Hyenas circling at a prudent distance.

The tentative sun breaks through and brightens the green hills at the far end. The clouds like rain, wisping and wafting, reach down in ribbons of softness.

Shadows of elephants on the horizon, regally marching in fours. Cory basterds with their rich layers of creamy grays and beige bringing up the rear. Side by side, side by side they move.

Pumbas, giant buffalos, crowned cranes ready for the derby, the gliding run of the gazelle: They are all grazing together in quiet harmony.

The living bearded wildebeests with their paint dripping back coloring are running, chasing, and talking loudly.  The brilliant white egrets at their feet nonplussed and the trio of tiny browns chatting happily on their backs.

The salt sea with its no outlet, is fed by an underground lake sourced from the  outside. It leaks into the grassland by spring fed fingers of refreshment. The pelicans are basking in its flowing. Their whiteness electric against the dim day.

There is a jungle area where we stop for a snack. It is lush and thick and the smell of fresh, cut minty freshness fills the air. The forest trees tower in lush clumps of randomness and tangle. We see a black leopard high on a tree branch…or is it? Then, there is an unmistakable, large male lion lounging on the dirt road sleeping through the mobbing Safari cars turning within feet of him.

We leave the forest for the plains. The clouds bounce and swirl atop the varied emeralds of the mountains blending seamlessly into the yellow brown grasses like a sloping beach to the water.  There are scattered small hills, each with a tree on top. I want to run across,

I do love the trees but somehow I am completely enchanted by this vista.

What a day of glorious wonder.

June 20, 2026

Second Tuesday. Hope Circles

Several months ago, I was studying the book of  Jonah and right at the part of the story when Jonah hightails it to Joppa to avoid God’s command to go to Nineveh, God used Kelly to call me to a task I was resistant to; a task I wanted to run from.

It involved investing/creating/ leading a future project from the bare bones up. I found an unruly resistance in me. I was happy to tackle any task as long as it was asked of me in the moment. I did not want to invest in the future yet God used Jonah to convince me otherwise. He promises rich blessings when we obey, even when resistant, so as an act of faith, I gave my reluctance to Him and accepted Kelly’s request.

Today, I saw the fruit of my willingness. I lived in the incredibly, rich blessings He called me to! It was an effervescent hoot!

Before we arrived, my team created a Community Healthcare Worker (CHW) First Aid Manual, complete with supplies. Today, we presented it to our 18 member Hope Circle of community volunteers. Dr. Maria and Dr. Ndoipo, from clinic, assisted. There were three other Hope Circles teaching other topics as well.

Our class was eager to learn and I was eager to teach! With vigor, they picked up the skills we introduced and asked thoughtful questions. They were thinking about the topics and extrapolating future concepts. I had to tell them I couldn’t give them all of my goodies at once because I needed to keep something for the next day! 

Dr. N. interpreted for me and then, eagerly ran with it. He did have a tendency to go a bit deep. When I heard the words “Kreb Cycle” and “energy molecules”, I knew he was on a rabbit trail beyond the scope of this class. Dr. M agreed and had him come back to our depth. His laugh and smile enchanted us all and the whole day was full of delight.

I found out later that not everyone who attended had chosen to be there. Some had asked to go to one of the other circles but we’re assigned to ours instead; one in particular had been my interpreter in the past. At the close of day, he was heard to say, proudly, that he was going to be a CHW! He was going to go to remote villages and help people.  He was going to make a difference! What an unanticipated surprise!

As I was considering this overflow of connecting purpose, I had a bit of a Captain Obvious moment that had not crystallized in my thoughts until now. I have spent the last several years living solely in the present. I haven’t wanted to plan/prepare/consider what my future might hold. I only allowed myself to respond to what was before me.

How marvelous that God did not leave me there. Having given me time to heal, He used Kelly’s gifting, and my own, to call me out of myself and propel me into a future I was reluctant to envision for myself.

He promised blessings galore and delivered them today. I am humbled, refreshed, grateful and ready to get to it tomorrow!

Second Wednesday Hope Circles #2

My eye baby from last week is here today and I spot her from a distance. She is tirelessly playing with a water bottle. Her Mama tosses it and she retrieves it. To and fro, she goes on the uneven ground, bending to reach it. It is unwieldy and needs two hands to navigate back with it. What a satisfying sight to see her playful and smiling. Mom and I lock eyes and share the joy of this shared blessing. My cup is overflowing and the day has just begun.

This morning begins slowly so I visit the Bible Hope Circle and sit next to Moines. He is our accountant and Bible Hope Circle interpreter. He is locked in, as my son would say, much like Dr. N., he has made this circle part of his delight.

He has a Maasai Language Bible in his hand so I pick one up and turn to Psalms 46 and read it in my ridiculously wrong accent.  He does not understand my words so he reads it for himself and translates it to me. His thoughtful interpretation makes me smile and we share the wonder of God’s Word together.

When our people arrive, we gather again. We ended yesterday teaching about adult choking care and we laughed our way through it. We begin today expanding on that theme to include child and infant care. To demonstrate, I have made a baby out of my microfiber towel. I introduced her to the team last night and she was named Shequiva Shower Shuka or Sheshe for short. She is loved by all her aunties and uncs, including Ima our cook!

Today, I strapped her to my back, as many a good Mama does here, and revealed her when she started choking… it’s okay, she lived and was carried all over today by many loving hands.

Pat presents post snake bite care with an emphasis on the need to wipe the venom off and keep the wound below the level of the heart. Conversation breaks out and we are told they are discussing their traditional care. They typically cut the bite and suck the venom out. Dr. N is interpreting but I interrupt him with a stern finger wagging indicating this is a big no-no. This delights them all.

Our unit on uniquely female care came today. Menses, pregnancy, newborn care preceded FGM, Female Genital Mutilation, which brought up the rear. It is an ancient custom held dear by the older generation to ‘prepare’ young girls 10-14 years old for marriage. It is done without their consent and without anesthesia. It is presented as necessary and good to procure status in the community.

I asked my class to explain it to me because I wanted to understand. There was a lively discussion in Maasai with a lot of laughter, nervous laughter, I think. I was told the class was eager to ask me questions and wanted to know what I thought. I asked them what they saw as the advantages and disadvantages. There was more awkward laughter until one of my more elderly students tells me there are no disadvantages, only advantages: status was his only advantage. One of my ladies offers that it is helpful to women in that it helps to manage sexual desire before marriage. When I ask if the desire returns after marriage, she answers with a tentative ‘’no”, almost as if she hadn’t considered that before.

I try to be diplomatic and non-judgmental in my delivery but feel inadequate to the task until I am prompted to change my approach. Instead of my opinion, I address them as the Healthcare Workers they are. It is no longer a value judgement but a discussion on how to care for a child who has undergone the event.

There are immediate and far reaching physical and psychological disadvantages/complications that can result from FGM: site bleeding, infection and pain; damage to uterus and urinary tract; difficulties with conception, pregnancy, delivery; physical and psychological trauma… When I am prompted to draw from the strength of my experience, my teaching comes with the ease of the Holy Spirit’s power.

Last trip, I had encountered a mom who had extensive scar tissue from her FGM and was not able to deliver her baby without a C-section. If she had not sought aid, she could have lost both her life and the baby’s life. As it was, the baby had spent many unnecessary hours being pushed out without success and will likely have lifelong deficits. I am not neutral on this subject.

We end the session with the news that we will have another additional session tomorrow afternoon. They all seem willing and I am grateful because we have more to cover.

Tonight we are treated to the Jesus movie at the pavilion. Driving there in the dark is like visiting the land of the bizarre and haunted. The thorn trees at night are intricately twisted and ashen when Illuminated by headlights. Every crooked, tangled, jabbing angle is highlighted in a colorless world of frenzied grasping.

Maria and her friends, including four year old, Eliana, join us.  As I get off the bus to greet them, Eliana’s Mom says “Ah, yes, you wrote the book. I’ve been reading it with Maria.” I’ve never been greeted in such a way. I kind of liked it.

It is dark and cool. The Milky Way in vivid shimmer acts as background for bright pinpoints of light. I see the Big Dipper to the NW, the crescent moon with Venus, Jupiter and Mercury in clear brilliance,  followed by the Southern Cross, Scorpio and possibly Sagittaurius…south and east; so many others, too numerous to count.  The splendour of the heavens displayed on the night canvas.

They set up to play the movie and begin with a square dance version of Count Your Blessings…like counting stars, there are too many to hold in one day. I smile at the connection.

The heavens declare the glory of God,
and the sky above proclaims His handiwork.  
(Psalm 19:1, ESV) so:

Count your blessings name them one by one
Count your blessings and see what God has done.

I use my translator app to translate the movie in real time and add it to the list of blessings. I

Second Thursday VBS and Hope Circles extended

This morning we discuss James 1:  “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”  (James 1:22, ESV) I had plans to be an benchwarmer for VBS this morning but I felt prompted to leave my nefarious ways and join in. I wasn’t convinced.

There are giraffes on parade as we drive into the sandy bush to find Pastor’s Daniel church for VBS. This church was started by Missionaries who came in 1993. These are the same missionaries who introduced Jesus to Pastor Peter when he was 11 years old. It is a sweet connection.

We arrive at a fine block building in the thorn forest and are greeted by children of all sizes. A large dirt area has metal goal poles on either side. Almost before any ball hits the ground, a football match erupts among the tall and older. Pastor Peter joins the local Moran young men. They are wearing the traditional black shukas. An impossibly tall Massai man in his traditional red shuka dominates the field with his swift legs and fancy footwork.

Further on, we have put up small, foldable goals and invite the shorter crowd to play. The goalies are alert and block well. They, too, execute a vigorous game mimicking the same fierce skill.

As the parachutes come out and engage the onlookers, I find an unattended little one dressed in a vivid red dress. She is watching from a distance. Suspecting she will not welcome a stranger, I keep my distance and roll a ball her way. It takes some time but I win her over and we end carrying an expanding ball together, back to the church. I smile to myself as I realize, I was convinced afterall and it was magnificent!

Our session three begins in the afternoon. I revisit FGM and answer questions. As I finish with the psychological trauma of it, I plan to segway nicely into Mental Health but pivot at the last minute. I sense a post lunch malaise so we talk about back pain instead.  I talk about how we carry heavy burdens with our bodies. We demonstrate proper lifting techniques and exercises for diy relief. This gives my students an opportunity to move.

Next, I use the heavy burden theme to segway to the emotional burdens we bear. Though I try different approaches, I feel ineffective. I begin to realize that the stigma present in the US is even more insidious here. It is evident that many believe that if mental health problems are not recognized, they don’t exist. My elderly student tells me that his generation has no issues but the younger ones do. These younger ones are often seen as disobedient, recalcitrant and willfully behaving badly.

The effects of prolonged trauma or undiagnosed mental illness is unknown and unconsidered. The thought that trauma responses need healing seem inconceivable. I realize that this is a hard sell so, again, I pivot. I remember how powerful the testimonies of other team members have been in other circles so I offer my testimony.

I tell them of my big 5 of family losses. How grief has shaped me and how I am able to heal because of the help and surrounding of my family, church and community. I am surprised when Dr. N interrupts me to congratulate me on my journey and I notice my audience is engrossed and listening.

I continue. I tell them this is a picture of the power of the Community Health Worker has. We can break the cycle of the hidden and unspeakable. We have the privilege of coming alongside those who are hurting and by the simple acts of acknowledging, listening, and speaking, we share hope. Hope can open doors of healing by identifying trusted people and resources to assist the process. It can all begin with us.

As our time comes to a close, we have not covered all our material but Dr. N is undeterred. I tell him we have five minutes and he says that is more than enough. I tell him, with a smile, that he hasn’t been so good at being brief. He laughs and covers the remaining four topics in record time.

We give each student a backpack of supplies and our manual in Swahili and then all the circle groups gather in a circle. Every participant receives a certificate which is hand delivered with a hug by the teacher.  I like this ending.

Tomorrow, we leave for Safari and home. The community of our safari people and the animals will be awesome but that’s not my sweet spot. My sweet spot is the majesty of God that we have lived these past weeks in the community of His people serving and being served.

There may challenges galore but the blessings are more when God calls His people together.

“And God is able to bless you abundantly,
so that in all things at all times,
having all that you need,
you will abound in every good work.”
2 Corinthians 9:8

Amen.

Thank you for joining me on this journey,

TanziAnne

June, 2026

Saturday The Second Week in Tanzania

As we await the new additions arriving today, we take a hike to “The Source of Water”. It is a true four wheel drive road to the trail that is up past New Hope. Many times, I have imagined what a trek up the mountain might look like and today I am treated to something like it. It is a gorgeous, cool day with blue skies and fresh breezing.

The thorn forest is robust as we bump our way beyond New Hope. As the ‘road’ narrows, it becomes more crowded with copious, scattered rock/boulders. The trick becomes judging between whether the rocks or the thorn trees offer more peril. It is Canyonlands-level driving and I am reliving some of my favorite memories.

The hike begins with a narrow tunnel of the usual brambly thorn trees above and treacherous roots and scree below. It is a downward rocky slope under the canopied tangle of the trees whose branches reach out and take my hat even as I hunch over. Though I am distracted by the thieving plants, I can hear the beguiling, refreshing sound of gurgling, rushing water singing to me. As I step down and straighten up, the river’s hidden corridor unexpectedly emerges.

The source of water which begins in the mountains, dances past in rushing, rivaling rivulets. It meanders at its leisure through a forest of baby bao bao trees on either side.  The scene is framed by the deceptively serene bee hive boxes that hang overhead awaiting their honey harvesters.  Its whirling pools of sound and refreshment paired with the fluttering leaves and crazy rootedness of the trees completely enchant me and immediately cause my heart to sing its most cherished melody.
On either side, there are cliffs with caves reminiscent of Arizona’s Montezuma’s Well and Castle. When God makes all things new, this will be among my sought after restorations.

Psalm 46:4 bubbles to my surface:
There is a river whose streams
make glad the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High. 
(Psalm 46:4, ESV)
 
The road back seems less insidious as its familiarity numbs me to its ridiculous state of bumpiness. I marvel at the diverse disparities of this land. The long, prickly thorns awaiting their opportunity to hitch a ride in our skin contrasted the delicate, fragility of the twittering yellow, orange, green and black rimmed, purple butterflies that follow softly in waves of sweetness. But, best of all, are the wide grins of children whose faces transform with delight at the sight of our waving. Their brilliant white teeth shining as, with arms out stretched, they wave wildly with a whole body greeting at the simple joy of being seen.

The new team arrives infusing new energy to our ranks despite their long journey here. We will begin fresh on the morrow.

Second Monday VBS @The New Hope Pavilion

Today is Vacation Bible School day. The nearby  boarding school students will join us for fun. Parachute colors, jump rope skill, football prowess and even Pickleball comes to the pavilion. Singing, dancing and Bible storytelling follow. The sounds of gladness echo into the hills as the children are welcomed to be children. I feel the smile of God shining on us.

I once again find myself weary but my favorite of all events pulls me from my diminished state. There is a little one, no more than three years old, trying to keep up with the olders. They have been given scooter boards and are speeding across the pavilion floor with gusto!  My little one pushes an older child on one until he is brave enough to set out on his own. He inhabits his giggling joy as he wills his tiny legs to go faster than sound. The pavilion is overflowing with his irrepressible radiance that zips right from him directly into my soul. I am giddy with the sweetness of his abandon, my diminishment replaced.

Pastor Peter calls the boards: Plates with tires, and joins the play as do several other adults. Can you imagine your Pastor flinging you across the floor on a plate with tires with you holding on for dear life to the rope he holds? The laughter is wildly vibrant with its unrestrained next level giddy up as all our faces explode with the uncontainable brilliancy of joy.

It is a picture of the truth of Hebrews 1:3 in action.

Hebrew 1:3
The Son, Jesus, is the radiance of God’s glory
and the exact representation of His being,
sustaining all things by His powerful word.

Amen

Thursday: Last Day of Clinic

I am diminished this morning. My inner voice,  silent. I consider that it might be a headache coming on but I decide that I am just weary.

When I arrive at clinic, I am greeted by the 18 month old baby and mom whom I had been treating all week. I wrote about them on Monday. First thing each clinic morning, Mom has returned so we could see if what we were doing was having an effect. Each morning, the baby buried her head under Mama’s shuka and wailed when I tried to assess her. Yesterday, the right eye was clear of drainage and less swollen. The left remained stuck shut but the discharge was no longer gooey; it was now dried. Her inner lid was still swollen and angry red. Today, she is still irritable and vigorously resisting care but there is no drainage though the swelling remains. We decide to have mom apply a warm compress and have her return to me every hour for another.

As the clinic continues, so does my slowness of spirit. I wash my hands and read Psalms 42:1

1 As a deer pants for flowing streams,
so pants my soul for you, O God.  
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God?   (Psalm 42:1-2, ESV)

I realize my diminished spirit is drawing me to prayer. “When shall I come and appear before God?” And my spirit says, emphatically, “Now!”
I am reluctant to leave my team in a lurch but if God is calling me to prayer, He will fill the gap.

I walk up to the lodge near the place where I prayed for Peter on my original trip here. It was only a parcel of land back then. I sit facing the mountain and with my head in my hands I pray. I can hear the music of sheep bells approaching and I look up to see a Shepard leading his flock toward me. He is wearing brilliant red against the green backdrop and he is beauty in motion and sound.

As I pray, I am overwhelmed by tears that come in forceful waves. I am wordless, panting, wet and dripping. As if outside of myself, watching, I consider that this feels like grief level sobbing but without a trigger or target. I wonder at this but do nothing to interrupt. As tears come up from my toes and wrack my body with shaking, I offer them to God, knowing His Spirit is translating every one of them into groans that are too deep for words. The silent inner voice that began my day, is finding its expression.

As my flow ebbs, I peak out from my own swollen eyelids. The Shepard in red has stopped his journey and sits under a tree with his musical sheep, watching me. It is a picture of My Shepard watching over me, the one of the 99 who has wandered off to pray.

Upon reflection, I feel sure that this grief was not about me or my personal journey. This grief was attached to the grimace of my first encounter with my eye baby. What started as contempt for my patient’s suffering has found deeper expression in these wordless tears. I do not imagine that my groanings will affect the suffering I see but it is not about me. My obedience is all that is asked for.

I return to clinic with my own swollen, red eyes in time for another warm compress.

I have several unusual cases.

A 10 month old darling arrives screaming in his Mama’s arms. He is as strong as they come and will not allow anyone to even glance his way. It takes all I have to look at his head. He has a firm knot with a red pinpoint center.

Upon investigation, we decide it could be: Furuncular myiasis, a parasitic skin infestation where fly larvae burrow into healthy human skin. I am advised to shine a bright light on it for 3 minutes. If there is something in there, it will be drawn to the light and emerge. I know full well that if it is a positive test, I will vomit where I stand. I brace myself with a firm stance and join Mama’s grip on the child’s head. For three minutes, I sway back and forth against the child’s fierce will. I sing and speak softly but have only momentary success in settling him. In the end, the test is negative and we all breathe a deep sigh of relief.

Next, I have a case of orchitis, a condition found in men. I consult with Dr. V which leads he and I to remember a case in Haiti. Back then, our pharmacist handed our patient a disposable ice bag. She told the patient to “squeeze it til it pops and shake it til it’s cold”. The patient, with horror, thought she was talking about his body part and was fantastically relieved when he realized it was the ice bag instead. It is one of our favorite shared memories.

As I clear my station at close of day, I hear the goat bell ring. Our last station of clinic is Spiritual Counseling. When they lead a patient to accept Jesus, they ring the loud bell so everyone can hear and celebrate. I look up to see it is my eye baby’s Mama accepting Jesus as her Savior. I hurry over and hug her. What a lovely ending, I think.

A while later, when it is time for another warm compress, Paulo finds me to ask if my eye baby and Mama can go home or if I want to give another treatment. He points at the front row of chairs where they are sitting. I look over and with an audible gasp of surprise, I see my little darling standing on her Mama’s lap, playing with her Mama’s phone. Her eyes are open and bright and she is smiling and calm! Mom smiles back at me and waves, visibly relaxed. This child has been clinging tightly to her mother’s chest, taking refuge beneath her shuka; responding wildly if disturbed all week… but now she is transformed! I can’t believe my eyes!

It makes me think of a scene from “The Chosen”: 
“I was one way and now I am completely different. And the thing that happened in between was Him.” Jesus. Now this is an even better ending!

Hallelujah!